Dilemma Six months ago I met a man who used to work with him when I was young and was middle -aged. Now I am in middle age and it is old. we I created incredible sexual and romantic relationship. This was very strong and beautiful. Tell me that I make him feel free, acceptable and beloved. He told me that he loved me and wanted to be with me, for us to belong to each other. By the way, most of my previous relationships with men were much older than me, but this is not the issue.
The older man approaches incredibly, loving, gentle and open, and then a few days later, I received a call from him saying that he could not deal with a different age, as he contradicts his feelings and He wants to be alone. Tell me to meet someone of my life, but when I try to go forward, he returns to contact. Over time, he will communicate with me extensively, just to refuse me with the text Or phone.
Again in a person, we are love, crying and telling me that he is sorry and that he loves me. I feel this is the same as the authentic, but I came to the dread of what will happen next.
I started keeping a record How many times this happened. Over the past six months, we had 20 days/incredible nights together, but he paid me eight times away. This is embarrassing to confess. I cannot walk away because I love him dearly and I can see the person inside him screaming to be loved.
I just hope my man is happy with me, and we can enjoy some time together, because life is short and I want to enjoy it and share my love with a special person. Age differences do not bother me at all.
Filipa’s answer Words of love, it’s wonderful, eh? But without behavior to follow them, it is meaningless. They are just seduction words. When I watch documentaries on the fish thickness on Netflix, it seems that the words of unbalanced love and “we must be together” are part of the trap in which the victim is located. It is important to note that his words, even if the heart is at the time, does not exceed his actions. Love is not related to what we say, it relates to how we appear, or do not do that, in a person’s life.
I love your prite -like tendencies in registering your relationship, and I think you have some good information there about what the older man really feels. By the way, the way you refer to the “older man” is somewhat strange, as if you might object to it in some way. Do you not see it as it is, but how do you want to see it?
If I am charitable, I can think that when he withdraws away, his way of managing the feelings that overwhelm him, and not necessarily an attempt to reject you. Perhaps he cannot deal with the feeling of weakness that comes with love? His refusal does not direct face to face, so in those moments it may be related to what it represents for him, and he does not have you personally.
I wonder if you are considering sharing the results of the spreadsheet with him as part of an open conversation? You can use it to help him understand what his behavior feels from your point of view and how it affects you. The door may even open to think about its own patterns.
She started realizing that if he could not adhere to something more healthy, you may need to get away. This does not mean that you do not love him; This means that you love yourself enough to determine the priorities of your emotional health. The highlands and declines in this relationship may feel familiar, and even comfortable, due to the patterns of your past, but this does not make them less harmful. I have said that before, and until everyone there gets the message, I will need to repeat myself again: When we continue to fall for emotionally unavailable people, it is often because we are trying to heal the childhood wound represented in the presence of an emotional, even unavailable, or even unavailable. Look at your childhood to see how you affect your present and then use your head to stop your instincts to choose inappropriate partners. You say that age is not a problem, as it may not be the case, but I think what is known as colloquially as “Father’s Issues” may be. I think psychotherapy spoils (Psychotherapy).
I think that “himself is the origin” as you see, it is just what you wish to be the original himself, but his authenticity is how he behaves all the time, and not only when he behaves in a loving way. And when you see “the person inside it screams to be loved”, this may be what you want to see. Love is really blind, I am afraid.
Direct your energy to the endeavors, people and experiences that nourish you and let you feel strong and steadfast.
Every week, Philippa Perry treats a personal problem that the reader has sent.
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