I have a wife from my brother and I really despise her. It has made our relationship with our father very difficult, and I tried to prevent him from seeing us at points. She has rested us since we were young. My father recently admitted that he believes that she is jealous of us and has a lot of regret the way we dealt with us in the past.
The problem lies in the fact that he said if anything happens to him (i.e. if he dies first), we will need to make an effort with her will, to ensure our dealings with Nazila, because he does not fully trust that she will do the right thing.
It is very difficult to admit and agree when he mainly admitted that he does not trust her with his urban desire. I also find it really difficult to deal with the fact that it finally recognizes its cruelty, but still insists that we have a relationship. It makes me think it is coward. I really want to bring this matter to him, but I have no idea how to say: “Do you not think that you should reconsider your marriage, based on the way you have shown do not trust your wife, and you think she is jealous of your children?”
Elianor says: The first thing is not philosophical: if you don’t already do, I think you must get legal advice about the will. Is it that he might die of miles, and hope you all sort it? Or did he make arrangements, but fears may challenge them?
Legal advice will explain what can be done now to avoid terrible intertwining later. This is difficult – no one loves to enter the details of their father’s death. Or in fact their property. But it will be more difficult, emotional and legal, if your first advice on a possible real estate conflict does not come until after his death.
For your question. I said you were not sure how to say what you want to say. When we say, “I cannot know how to say such,” I always think the answer is just saying such. I wrote this: “Do you not think that you should reconsider your marriage, based on the ways your wife does not trust, and you think she is jealous of your children?”
Something caused to say, definitely. But this is not the choice of the word that makes it causing. You were asking your father why he is still married. You can soften the drafting, but the content of this question is what makes us cursed, not the way it is asked.
More intimidation is still the fact that it may have an answer. Through your eyes (and my eyes) this question is almost a speech: Why do you remain married to someone you do not trust and who means for your children? However, the fact that they are We are He is still married and he wants you to have a relationship with her means that, there may be an answer for him. He may have considerations on the other side of the scale that exceeds the fact that it means his children.
Perhaps she loves her enough. Maybe he does not want to be alone. He may think he is very old, as he is not ready to make a change. Perhaps it is believed that the conflicts between them and his children are not concerned.
What seems to be the clear deals networks for you is just some considerations between many.
The important point is that your real question for him may be a greater chapter. Not only “Why don’t you behave based on your rule?” , But “why no It is your rule that you should leave? “It is likely that he has good -intentioned answers – things, for him, are more important than the way he is treated.
It is difficult to say what will hurt more: not brave enough to work on what he appreciates, or this is exactly what he looks when he does. I really don’t know any of these. I feel the same in both cases. I don’t know if you should ask any question loudly; I don’t know how conversations tend to go, or whether his answer will make you feel better.
I know that when someone does not behave what they say, he does not always lack the courage of their convictions. Sometimes they show us their convictions through inaction.