Marriage is hard, but it’s even harder when you immigrate together

Canadian immigration policy has long focused on family reunification. In fact, most of Canada’s 200,000 annually Newcomers migrate as a couple or as a family unit.

For these families, immigration means more than just starting over, it means that each member of the family and unit must adapt to the new culture while finding ways to maintain a connection to their original culture.

This double transformation, known as Family acculturationIt can be a source of growth and stress. The complexity of this process is well illustrated by examining the smallest family unit: the migrant couple.

Language barriers, social isolation, and new parental challenges often add to the daily stresses of marriage. As partners adapt to Canadian culture at different rates and levels, these acculturation gaps can strain communication, change power dynamics, and challenge the couple’s sense of connection and harmony.

What are the cultural gaps?

Acculturation refers to how individuals balance maintaining their heritage culture and adopting aspects of a new culture. within families, Not everyone does it the same way or at the same pace. One spouse may learn English quickly, find work and follow social norms, while the other may cling more strongly to traditional values ​​or struggle to assimilate.

They may also adapt differently across domains such as child-rearing practices. These differences, known as Cultural gaps can affect not only an individual’s well-being but also the quality of the relationship between spouses and the overall functioning of the family.

Research on family acculturation has largely focused on… Parent-child relationships, showing how differences in cultural adjustment can cause stress and misunderstanding. However, cultural acculturation gaps between spouses—although less studied—may have a similar effect.

Spouses, after all, are the foundation of most immigrant families Large cultural gaps between spouses may erode feelings of connectedness, negatively impacting individual and relationship well-being.. These gaps may also extend to parenting and other aspects of family functioning.

The cultural-narrow gap model explains how different levels of adjustment within a family can lead to conflict. When partners adopt new languages, norms, or values ​​at different speeds, they may develop mismatched expectations about family roles, parenting, and daily decisions.

This mismatch can erode intimacy and communication, increasing marital stress and dissatisfaction. Studies have found that Couples with larger cultural gaps tend to experience more marital distress, higher rates of conflict and separation, and lower relationship quality over time..

Power dynamics within the family may also change. A partner who adapts more easily—perhaps gaining stronger language skills or financial independence—may have greater decision-making power. This is possible Challenging traditional gender roles, especially for families migrating from patriarchal societies to more equal environments.

As a result, couples may find themselves renegotiating not only their domestic responsibilities but also their identities as partners, sometimes leading to tension or resentment.

Parenting adds another layer of complexity and stress. Parents’ beliefs and practices are deeply shaped by their cultural backgrounds. When mothers and fathers are educated differently, their ideologies and approaches to raising children may differ. For example, one parent may encourage independence in line with Canadian standards, while the other emphasizes collectivistic values. these Inconsistencies can lead to co-parenting stress, marital conflict, and confusion in children.

When flexibility meets policy

Not all acculturation gaps lead to conflict. Vulnerability, Stress, and Adaptation (VSA) Model. It suggests that couples’ ability to adapt determines whether stressors such as language gaps strengthen or weaken the relationship.

While acculturation gaps can create vulnerabilities, Partners who communicate openly, show empathy, and support each other often turn these challenges into opportunities for deeper connection. Couples’ flexibility and adaptation can mediate the negative effects of acculturation gaps on their well-being, promoting long-term satisfaction and stability.

Unfortunately, recent immigration policies have added further pressure on migrant families. Canada’s indefinite suspension of new permanent residency sponsorship for parents and grandparents removes an important support system for many newcomers. Grandparents often provide child care, transmit cultural values, and provide emotional support—resources that relieve cultural stress and promote family cohesion.

Under the VSA model, the removal of extended family support acts as an external stressor that exacerbates couples’ existing vulnerabilities. With fewer adaptive resources to manage daily stressors, migrant couples may find it more difficult to maintain resilience, marital quality, and family well-being.

The couple’s acculturation story is one of commitment and adaptation under pressure. The success of this trip depends not only on language skills or employment, but also on mutual understanding and support.

Immigration policies influence the resilience environment of migrant families, but in this context, couples must constantly negotiate cultural stressors and gaps.

Well-adjusted couples are the foundation of thriving immigrant families and communities, and understanding cultural gaps between spouses is a crucial step toward supporting them.

This article was republished from Conversation Under Creative Commons license. Read Original article.