Dear Eric: My 50 -year -old wife told me that she no longer wanted to live with me. I am currently living in our summer house with no friends or social communications/networks. She has no interest in success.
We did not fight or discuss, and I am confused about what caused its announcement. This took me on surprise. I thought we have a good marriage, with climbing and declining sometimes. There are no cases of abuse, addiction or marital infidelity. I worked all my life and I am retired now. Once we gave birth to children, she managed to stay at home and lived in raising our children comfortably and caring for the family. The children stood with their mother and will not talk to me. I think she poisoned them against me, but don’t see the gain in doing so.
I am miserable. I am 74 with nervous mobility issues. I am afraid to fall, and there will be no one. The upper housing for me is very expensive and will exhaust the planned retirement resources. We used to finally sell our summer house to complete our money later in life. This is no longer possible because I live in this house. This is not how I wanted to end the last chapters of my life.
I had five sessions of treatment with no results. My therapist says I am not in danger to myself or others, and I am permanently depressed but not a question. Without more concrete information, he cannot help me. I am not a bad person, but I’m here.
– I was completely betrayed
Dear betrayal: First, I am concerned about the therapist’s response. Even without severe depression, the therapist can help you treat your chapter shock and plan your next steps. Therefore, you must set an appointment with another therapist with those declared goals in the foreground.
Not sure whether the lack of “concrete information” indicates the treatment of the processor or indicates that you are hindering. Treatment can help us recognize the things we refuse to admit ourselves, but you can also start doing some of this work on your own, if there are parts of your story that you did not include. It is exciting, for example, that your children have stopped talking to you. Without more information, I can’t say what is going on around it, but it indicates that there is something you need to empty. It is useful to ask yourself what it is.
It is equally important to find safety and stability. Talk to the divorce lawyer and a financial plan about what happened and what should happen to go forward. They can help you sort problems with home and retirement. Talk to your doctor about the possibility of a home health assistant or a social worker. There are options for you.
I am sorry that you feel blind from this. But accepting that this is what is happening now and take proactive steps that will keep you safe.
Dear Eric: I have been a friend of his high school; We are both in the late seventies. Hull is in a good financial position, and he and his wife had no children. Hull invited me to stay in his home, and we traveled together several times. The problem is that it is cheap, always looking for free deals and fiery. Hull recorded a plane ticket and called himself to stay with my wife for five days. It is very cheap to stay in a hotel and rent a car and I am expected to submit accommodation and transport. My wife does not really want to spend much time with this distress. Am I obligated to it and how can I say no?
– The guest room is closed
Guest Room dear: As with any possible guest, you can always tell Hull that it is not a good time for visitors. But before the registration was suspended, “No Vacaning”, think about Hull’s perspective. If you stay in place, is it logical to think about staying in your place not to serve as an imposition, but just part of your friendship? Through this view, this may be the least way for Cheapskate and more than one friend who asks for an interest that returns from another friend. Or, even, the desire to get some good time.
Now, if your wife does not care about Hal, this is another story. You do not need to simply be imposed to please it. But there is nothing wrong with its nature in being a hunter for the deal or the desire to save money in a hotel if you have a close friend. Personally, I suggest that he rent a car. Five days of the driver is likely to follow.
(Send questions to R. Eric Thomas on Eric@askingeric.com or Po Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Instagram And registration in the weekly newsletter in RECTHOMAS.COM))
© 2025 Tribune Content Agency, LLC.
It was originally published: