TThe lavender wedding—that administrative convenience and PR fantasy of Hollywood’s Golden Age—is back. the The Washington Post recently covered its reinventionmeeting Jacob Huff, who is gay, and Samantha Greenstone, who is straight, a happy couple with a baby on the way (Greenstone explained to the curious that they “catch the birds and the bees.” The Post also spoke with friends April Lexi Lee and Sherry Wong, both “on the asexual spectrum,” who said they “We were married very…platonically“.
Of course, if you’re talking frankly about lavender marriage, it’s not. Their aim was to confer a fig leaf of heteronormative respectability at a time when it was necessary both professionally and socially; These people are not there for appearances. Hoff and Greenstone don’t like the term: “It diminishes what we already have, which is the love match.” Greenstone says. But online “lavender marriage” has been chosen as a shorthand for different forms of loving and committed relationships that do not focus on traditional romance and sexual desire, either Joke ambition and Live experience. They need another name: Some people call themselves by one Platonic life partners (Progressive Labor Party); I saw”Rainbow wedding“On TikTok.
If you’re my age, in a heterosexual marriage in a suburb of North Yorkshire rather than in Portland, Oregon, there are a range of options for how to look at these marriages, from ‘raging great uncle’ to enthusiastic, with a real risk of sounding like a cool, hard-working priest with the kids, when discussing it. I’m going to take this risk: a wonderful deputy is here, reporting for duty, to address some sore spots. The HGU (and I assume he’s not homophobic, but he’s a bit confused) might say something like, “Isn’t this just friendship?s? Why do we treat them as something different? Why do you get married?
Hof and Greenstone certainly don’t view their relationship that way, but for those who do, why? no got married? I don’t consider my union to have prestige, just that it’s couched in a traditional romantic relationship or sexual attraction — it’s still mostly two people watching TV and fighting over trash cans. We’ve moved beyond treating marriage – a historically proprietary transaction and patriarchal institution – as a sacrament that can be tainted by spillovers into other kinds of love, surely? “Just” friendship is sacred and worth formalizing; It was that way sometimes, in some places. In her latest book Bad friendTiffany Watt-Smith describes the history of friendship pacts and ritual contracts, beginning in thirteenth-century Iberia. Conspiracies and early modern French Subsidiary companiesto choose A Belay do – an intimate friend who has been elevated to the status of kin – by the women of Ako in Cameroon upon puberty.
There are very good reasons to marry someone you love in any way, not least simple economic reasons. The “only penalty” is real: rent, bills, and not qualifying for tax credits all add up; In the United States, health insurance is a major additional consideration. Exploring the No Lavender Phenomenon, Deputy and Business insider It’s framed as a Gen Z response to economic struggles (combined with an understandable weariness with dating). And marriage, rather than cohabitation reserved as platonic companions, benefits us in other fundamental ways: married people have longer life expectancy and better health outcomes (especially, I have to complain, men). The intimacy – physical or non-physical – and the emotional support and sense of security that a good marriage can provide are protective; like He tells me“I realized how much easier it is for me to move through this world with a partner.”
The Human Rights Unit might also object that such relationships have always existed, in private, and with complete consent. Why did you broadcast it on social media? Both couples in the article proudly talk about the ins and outs of their online marriage (content creation is Hof’s main source of income), responding to hostility or simply being curious, and actually, I find that particularly admirable. Because unlike the lavender marriages of the 1930s, these marriages, by their chosen appearance, make a powerful case that love in all its forms deserves formal recognition and celebration. They explore what marriage could be, and yes, that’s a very fine statement from a priest, but in our age of subservient commercialism, banning books and narrowly defined exclusionary “Christian” values Reframing compassion as a sinI find that very exciting.